Are You Brave Enough To Find Out How You’ll Die As A Runner?

Are You Brave Enough To Find Out How You’ll Die As A Runner?.

Angry Jogger has got out the crystal ball and has calculated when you will die as a runner. Oh, and what a superstar runner will think of your likely untimely death.

My demise:

You will die running on Wednesday 18th August 2027 during a fartlek workout.

You will go into this run contemplating becoming a hairy Communist for lent.
You will be forced to stop in the street after having your path blocked by a single-mother with a jogger. In your rage your heart explodes like a car back-firing.
Death will happen 7 miles into your favourite route.
“No one ran quite as awkwardly as Bernie Elber. A true pioneer in running deformity” – Iwan Thomas

Well, now that I know how I die (in another sweet, long 14 years), it’s time to get back to my regular diet of pizza with chorizo, chicken and bacon topping…
Oh, and Iwan Thomas can go and find a quiet corner to punch himself in the face. It’s called the ‘Bernie shuffle’ and it is really efficient.

– See more at: http://angryjogger.com/are-you-brave-enough-to-find-out-how-youll-die-as-a-runner.html#comment-23950

 

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About getgoing-getrunning

Hi, I’m Bernie and I’m a just guy who writes about the things which get me going and get me running, even though my running is never going to result in me standing on a podium!

Posted on October 4, 2013, in Blog. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Are You Brave Enough To Find Out How You’ll Die As A Runner?.

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